Hopelessly Hopeful
by Izzy-Lawliet
Summary: I didn't live a good life. I couldn't remember the last time my mom took the time to make me laugh. My body constantly hurt, my mind was exhausted and my emotions depleted. I had no hope. I was hopelessly hopeless. Multiple Warnings inside.


**Title: _Hopelessly Hopeful_  
>Author: <strong>_Izzy-Lawliet (Rin)_**  
>Disclaimer: <strong>_L__et's go over this slowly so you can understand what I'm saying. I do not own this. If I did, do you seriously think that I would be typing a poorly written story like this?_**  
>Pairings: <strong>_Axel/Sora_**  
>Rating:<strong>_ M_**  
>Warnings: <strong>_AU, Yao, child-abuse, child-neglect, attempted suicide, attempted homicide_

**_Summary: _**_I didn't live a good life. I couldn't remember the last time my mom took the time to make me laugh. My body constantly hurt, my mind was exhausted and my emotions depleted. I had no hope. I was hopelessly hopeless.  
><em>

**_Author's Note: _**I felt like writing another AkuSora. And I currently have another besides this one in the works, so I may be posting a couple chapters to that as well, so be on the lookout.

This is also my first time ever writing something so dark. I don't know what compelled me to write something of this nature. I've actually been pretty happy lately. So who knows. *shrug*

**MAJOR WARNING! **

**As seen in the warnings before, this story will contain all of those! I do not agree with any of the methods of discipline used this story, nor do I agree with child-neglect or child-abuse. I do not root for one to attempt suicide/homicide. This will be my only time warning you, readers, of this. Please do not read if any of those warnings will bother you.**

* * *

><p><strong>NightWanderer invited you to private chat. <strong>

I clicked accept and typed, _'give me a sec'_ before going to my door and making sure it was shut and locked. My mother would kill me if she knew I was on a chat room. I was only allowed on the computer for school work, but luckily I was technologically savvy and knew how to erase all the data and get past the parental lock she put on.

When I sat back down, I got comfy and couldn't help the smile that appeared on my face.

**_HopelesslyHopeless: _**_I thought I said to change your id name_

**_NightWanderer: _**_I still don't see what's wrong with it._

**_HopelesslyHopeless: _**_It feels like I'm talking to a pedo. ._

**_NightWanderer: _**_lol. For all u know, u could be. I could be wandering the night at the moment._

**_HopelesslyHopeless: _**_watev. Skype me? At least there you have a little more sane id name_

He didn't bother to reply and simply called me through Skype. I accepted the call and smile when his happy face came on my monitor.

_"Hey, Sor." _He waved. He didn't bother talking quietly this time, my friend had let me borrow his headphones and he had noticed that right away. And luckily he didn't bother to mention the mark that ran across my face.

I got that earlier today when I arrived home late. The reason was because the school had an assembly and so school ran a bit longer, I had to run home as fast as I could, and yet I was still late.

And just because he was able to talk, didn't mean that I was able to. I had to resort to typing my responses. It was a pain in the ass, but it was all I could do.

**_HopelesslyHopeless: _**_hey, Ax._

_"How come you bash my id name all the time, and yet yours makes anyone depressed by just looking at it." _I stuck out my tongue and thought as quickly as I could to come up with a retort, when I took too long, Axel continued to talk. _"Ha! That's what I thought. So no more bashes on my id name, until you change yours." _

**_HopelesslyHopeless: _**_fine then. Jackass._

_"Not nice!" _He pouted and looked away from the computer.

**_HopelesslyHopeless: _**_Axel…I'm sorry._

He didn't look at the computer, so I decided to send him a bunch of keysmash nonsense. He still didn't bother to look, so I clicked the buzz button and watched him jump. I laughed as quietly as I could. Axel finally looked back at the screen and glared at me. I gave him my best innocent smile and looked away to get a drink of my water.

Timing was the worst key, as I took a swig of my water, Axel buzzed me and I jumped, choking on my water, throwing myself into a coughing fit. The headphones had made it all that more loud.

"Sora!" I paled and looked at Axel, my coughing mysteriously stopping.

He gave me a pity-filled, and yet supportive look. I felt my eyes water as I realized I would get caught and probably get in the worst trouble imaginable.

_"Sor, don't worry. I know your IP address, I'll clear everything for you. Text me once you can, don't worry about her tracking. I'll make sure it's private." _I nodded and immediately shut off the screen, depending on Axel to stick to his word.

I threw the headphones behind the desk and hopped over to my bed, laying in front of all the books and homework I had laid out just in case something like this had happened. I heard my mom yell once more and knew better than to go to her. Her footsteps were really loud and echoed to the sound of my speeding heart as I heard her reach my door.

It was then that I realized it was still locked. I didn't have enough time to jump over and unlock it before her hand was twisting the knob.

"Sora! You fucking brat! Unlock this door now!"

I couldn't have jumped up quicker than any other time in my life. I unlocked the door and prepared myself.

She smacked me across the face with what I could assume was the braided scarf she had done herself. It was thick and left a mark across my face. This stung had happened to land directly on the one that I got earlier that day that was still red and tender to the touch.

I stumbled backward and didn't bother trying to defend myself. I had given up long ago. It was better to let her get her frustration out.

"And now look what you made me do!" In my mind, I was only slightly shocked that she could still blame this on me without feeling the least bit guilty. "Now you aren't able to go to school, and _I _have to make up excuses for an ungrateful bastard like you." The words she said didn't bother me anymore. I had long gotten over the hurtful things she spat at me. "I should just let you go to school. Let all the other fucking brats there see how worthless and ugly you are!" She brought the scarf down again and this time hit me across my chest, then again over my stomach, knocking me to the floor, breathless.

She seemed to be satisfied with that and walked out calmly, shutting the door like nothing happened.

It took me a while to find the strength to be able to get up again. It hurt to move too much at once. I thought I would have had to sleep on the floor again.

The last time I had to was when she came in and decided cutting up my legs while she held me down, would be a good idea.

When I got up, I reached over my bed to the phone that rested under my pillow. I decided to pull my blanket and pillow down. The floor was more convenient at the moment.

I ran through my contact list, which only held six numbers in it. One of them being disguised as Night Security. It made it looked like it was from mom's night job. In reality, it was Axel.

I text him, hoping that he had made it all private so she couldn't pull my text records.

_To: Night Security  
>From: Sor Sor<br>Time: 7:06 pm  
>Message: I cant breathe properly<em>

I laid back on the pillow, trying to prop myself up enough so I didn't hurt myself more than necessary.

_To: Sor Sor  
>From: Night Security<br>Time: 7:09 pm  
>Message: Just relax, don't take deep breaths but try to regulate it. Stay propped up and don't move too much. She didn't hit you again…did she?<em>

He seemed genuinely concerned about whether she abused me or not. Axel didn't know that abuse was a regular thing for me. I've been abused and such since as long as I can remember. The only time the abuse was noticeable was today, she started using the scarf as a punishment and seemed to like it. Somehow Axel knew she did it. I don't know how, but I didn't really bother to ask.

_To: Night Security  
>From: Sor Sor<br>Time: 7:10 pm  
>Message: Dont worry about it, please. It's no big deal.<em>

I rested back against the pillow and felt like I was getting exhausted. Maybe it was the lack of air. Maybe I wasn't getting enough oxygen to my brain.

My phone buzzed on my chest.

_To: Sor Sor_  
><em>From: Night Security<br>Time: 7:13 pm  
>Message: I WILL worry about it. Because it IS a big deal. What she did to you is illegal, and I'm surprised that you haven't said anything to the cops or something. You can't NOT do anything. It won't stop if you don't do anything about it.<em>

I felt bad. I really did. He didn't know that I've been constantly abused for years. I don't know why I haven't said anything to anyone. I'm smart enough to know this is wrong. I don't know what is holding me back. Although, I _do _know that I don't want to be in foster care. Which is where the government would put me when they found out what my whole situation was.

_To: Night Security  
>From: Sor Sor<br>Time: 7:14 pm  
>Message: mmm…well im tired. I think im going to go to bed now. Ill talk to you tomorrow. I have to go online to do research. Night. =)<em>

I didn't bother to wait for him to reply and simply shut the phone off completely, sliding it under the bed. I pulled the blanket up and slowly counted backwards from one hundred, relaxing each part of my body as I did. I faintly recall getting to number fifty-six I think before I fell asleep.

I was able to sleep in. Which was odd, because even if I had to stay home from school, she would come wake me up just for the sake of it. I had rolled over in my sleep and was practically under my bed. I tiredly grabbed my phone and pressed the power button. My phone turned on in a few minutes and I saw the time was 1:37 in the afternoon. I stared at it for a couple moments before I decided to get up and find something to eat.

Getting up now was more painful than it was the night before. It seemed that my body was sore and stiff from sleeping on the floor. I cursed my luck before proceeding to get up. The pain was almost too much, but I knew that if I didn't eat, I would end up feeling worse than I already was.

I slowly walked out of my room, the pain in my chest and stomach making it almost impossible for me to walk at all. When I left my room, I heard the TV in the living room on.

She didn't stay home, did she? I don't see a reason as to why she would. I knew that I had no other choice but to cross the living room and pass her while doing so.

I was walking to the kitchen, and decided to peek over the couch. I saw my mom sitting in a slumped position, which looked very uncomfortable. I knew I could have continued to the kitchen, no worrying about whether I would be yelled at for something that I didn't do. But at the same time…

I had a really bad time. I would probably regret this sometime in the future, but at the moment I couldn't help myself.

"Mom?" She was usually a very light sleeper.

She didn't move at all.

I reached around and lightly touched her shoulder. She didn't move at all.

I started to panic slightly and walked around the couch to face her. I got on my knees and gently shook her. She didn't respond.

I stood back up and laid my head on her chest to hear a heartbeat.

There was nothing.

My heart sped up as my panic rose and I froze for a moment. I stood and pulled out my cellphone that I had luckily brought with me. I dialed 911 and waited impatiently for someone to answer.

_"911, what's your emergency?" _

_To: Sor Sor  
>From: Night Security<br>Time: 2:01 am  
>Message: don't worry too much. She'll be fine.<em>

I looked up from my phone and watched the heart monitor show her irregular heart beat. It turns out that she had a seizure and her heart had almost stopped by the time the paramedics got there. Apparently it was just beating too slow for me to hear. She had been out since they brought her to the hospital.

I had ridden in the ambulance with her, holding her hand for more of my comfort than for her. She wasn't conscious, but that didn't matter to me. I was oddly worried for her. She was all I had.

I had yet to see a doctor yet, only a couple nurses that sent worried glances my way. I hadn't looked in the mirror so I had no idea how bad my face looked. And that was probably the main reason they looked at me the way they did.

"Hello. I'm Doctor Leonhart. You must be Sora?" I nodded and stood up to shake his hand. I couldn't see his face very clearly, so that meant he couldn't see mine either. He walked over to my mom's bed and checked a couple things on the monitor. He then flipped a switch by the bed and turned another light on to make it brighter.

He looked to be about in his mid-thirties and yet his early-twenties at the same time. It made no sense, but he had this aura about him, like he had seen terrors, but got through them and now lives a happy life. But then again that was a lot to infer from a facial expression.

"I see why the nurses were worried." I tilted my head to the side in confusion. "That…wound. It's infected and seems like it might scar."

I reached my hand up to my face subconsciously, only to have him stop it when it was about to reach my face.

"You'll make it worse. I'll get a nurse in here in a bit. Let me check on your mother first." I sat back down and let the doctor do his work. It wouldn't do any good for me to bother him or get in his way. It would only make his job harder.

_To: Sor Sor  
>From: Night Security<br>Time: 2:34 am  
>Message: Hey, you still alive?<em>

Was I?


End file.
